Criminal Minds Oneshot: "Words" (English)

[dunderklumpen.livejournal.com]

Title: "Words"
Author: dunderklumpen
Pairing: Hotch/Morgan (established relationship)
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1.109 words
Summary: What happened after Hotch saved Morgan in 405 "Catching Out"?
Beta: A big thank you to sarahtoalaska who helped with the translation and to severity_softly who polished the fic. Both were incredibly patient. All remaining mistakes are mine:)
Disclaimer: Criminal Minds is the property of CBS.
Note: This is my first Criminal Minds story in english. I translated one of my german fics. You can find the original here. Written for the prompt "wordless communication" over at 120_minuten . Depending on the country SPOILERS FOR 401 "Mayhem" and 405 "Catching Out".

 

 

 

“Words”

“The words the happy say
are paltry melody.
But those the silent feel
are beautiful.” 

Emily Dickinson 

Morgan stood beside the corpse of the policeman whose chest was soaked in blood. His face was pale and contorted in pain, the shock and surprise of the unexpected attack still visible in his empty eyes. Although they had warned him, he had not been fast enough to avoid this. Morgan breathed deeply and stepped aside when the medics came to remove the corpse. While the medics were occupied with wrapping the lifeless body in the shroud, Hotch walked to stand beside him. Morgan knew he was there, had felt his presence before he saw him.

Both men looked down at the blood and Morgan noticed the glance Hotch threw at him. Derek looked up and their eyes met. The older profiler did not say anything but Morgan knew that he was furious, felt the unexpressed reproach – ’That could have been you!’ The words were unspoken but loud enough to almost be heard.

Derek sighed again and broke the eye contact when he turned. He hadn’t the strength for a power struggle with Aaron, not at this very moment, not now. Slowly he left the place where an innocent colleague had lost his life. 

****

The knocking was almost too quiet. Morgan had already showered, was ready for bed, and so close to falling into the land of dreams that he almost missed it. Tired and completely exhausted, he rolled from the bed and went barefoot to the door. Hotch was on the other side. He had expected that his boss wouldn’t be able to let the matter rest.

Mutely, Morgan opened the door completely and stepped to the side to signal that he could enter. Aaron stepped trough the door into the low-lit room. Morgan waited until he heard the near silent clicking of the lock behind him. Derek turned and was about to ask what the other man wanted when Hotch set both hands against his chest and pressed him hard into the door. His lips met Morgan’s and he kissed him, hot and passionately, while his tongue searched its way into Derek’s mouth.

This took Morgan completely by surprise. He didn’t know this kind of behavior from Aaron – the Aaron who looked for tenderness, intimacy, conversations after sex. Who wanted cuddling and the warmth and closeness they both longed for. He had only once been so aggressive – after Derek had very nearly blown himself up in New York.

Morgan’s hands grasped Hotch’s jacket, moved it over his arms and pulled frantically at the buttons of his shirt while Hotch loosened his tie. Four hands tore impatiently at knots and buttons, tossing clothes aside until they were bare. They wanted to feel the heat of the other, the rubbing of naked skin on skin. Aaron’s nails dug into Derek, leaving red marks on his dark back. Morgan groaned into the kiss.

Hotch pulled Derek away from the door and moved them to the bedroom. Still blinded by passion, Aaron walked forward, pushing Derek until he fell heavily onto the bed, trapping him under the naked body of his lover. Hotch's mouth ran along Morgan's neck and sucked for too short a moment on his adam’s apple.

‘God!’

Aaron’s mouth continued its journey before his teeth drove into the soft meat over the collarbone. It was too hard to be pleasant and Morgan hissed. Aaron ignored the complaint, but soothed the spot with his tongue. Derek allowed it, didn’t resist the rough rhythm his lover set. Instead his thoughts went back to the night after the explosion when Hotch had reacted like this for the first time. It was hard, loud sex – hot and sweaty, full of bites and scratch marks and that familiar satisfying soreness in his middle.

He remembered what Hotch had said: ’I cannot bear to lose you, Derek. Not like this, not now. I needed to feel you. Had to convince myself that you’re still here, that I could hold you in my arms, secure and firm.’

Aaron needed the feeling of being in control, to know that Derek was there and wouldn’t leave. But he had also been angry, furious about the fact that the other man had risked his life, that he hadn’t talked to anyone before making the decision on his own – without reinforcement, without the advice of his colleague‚ an ‘o.k.’from his superior. He’d never forgotten what Hotch had said to him when Morgan drove him home: ‘Your actions, as incredibly brave as they were, were still the actions of an agent who doesn't truly trust anyone.’

Trust… Morgan knew that he had a problem with trusting people… but he wanted to show Aaron that he wasn’t like that with him, that he was ready to give himself completely in Aaron’s hands. So he accepted the caresses of the older profiler, felt the fingernails on his skin, the tongue, teeth and lips which sucked and licked, kissed and bit. He gave himself to his lover and enjoyed quietly that he wasn’t the active member for once. He embraced it gratefully and gave back as good as he could. This evening wasn’t about him. It was about Aaron and what he needed to be sure that everything was well.

Warm, slick fingers penetrated him, searched their way into him. Derek panted violently and whimpered when Aaron prepared him. It was pleasure and not pain that pushed these sounds past his lips, yet still Hotch took his time to prepare him so that he was really ready. Ready for the hard cock that pushed itself into him and brought with it that old feeling of fullness.

Aaron started moving slowly, but soon the movements became frantic. It was only a matter of moments, and the muffled slap of skin against skin. Violent breathing and loud groaning created a blanket of desire into which was woven all the words they had not been able to say to one another.

’You bastard, you could have died!’

’I had to do it. He was directly in front of me. Should I have let him escape?’

‘You’re not alone. We are a team, Derek, a damn team.’

‘I am still alive, everything went well.’

‘Damn it!’

‘Th… thank you for saving my life.’

’I had to shoot him. He was so close to overwhelming you. – I wouldn’t have survived losing you.’

’I know, Aaron… I'm sorry.’

’If you act so irresponsibly again, it will have consequences, Derek. I cannot always protect you.’

Their eyes met, mirroring what both already knew but had never said out loud. This time it lingered between them when orgasm lashed through them.

’I love you, Derek.’

’And I love you, Aaron.’